Growing Up Gay: Inside "Out" in America
As we witness the recent increase of gay characters and storylines on our favorite television shows, from the critically acclaimed "Queer as Folk" to the witty, ratings-grabber "Will and Grace," you would think our society as a whole had become more tolerant, more accepting of homosexuality. Not necessarily so, says one Beverly Hills teen who joined our youth panel at the Media Project's briefing, Growing Up Gay, Inside "Out" in America. As she commented on the homophobia prevalent at her "90210" high school, she addressed the negative connotation associated with being gay, even in an upper-middle class, reportedly liberal and politically-correct environment. Her comments were supported by a diverse and articulate panel of sophisticated gay teens who shared their personal stories of coming out, discrimination and personal empowerment.
Click here to read a summarized transcript of the briefing. [Please note: You'll need the PDF Reader to view a PDF file.]
"I came out at fourteen and my mother cried every day for a month," recalled 19-year-old Anthony, who gained respect and support for himself by starting a gay/straight alliance in his high school. Raised in East L.A., 19-year-old Luis expressed the additional pain caused by cultural stigmas, "I went through so much shame. I was not the 'typical' gay kid playing with Easy Bake Ovens. I want people to know me for myself and not because I'm gay." For 17-year-old Lexi, "I had so much internal homophobia because I always heard the words gay and lesbian in a negative context. I ended up attempting suicide and went to a mental institution." Twenty-year-old Jessie said one of the hardest things for her was when her parents separated her from her two younger sisters so they wouldn't "catch" her homosexuality.
Setting up the cycle of discrimination and acceptance faced by GLBTs, Tina Hoff, VP of Public Health Information and Partnerships for the Kaiser Family Foundation, offered some compelling statistics from their recently released national survey:
- One in four gay Americans say they have experienced a lot of prejudice/discrimination because of their sexual orientation; another 30% have experienced at least "some"
- 32% say they have been personally targeted for violence because of sexual orientation
- 74% say they have experienced verbal insults or slurs because of sexual orientation.
And from the "straight" survey respondents:
- 64% said there is more acceptance of gays today
- Two out of three say they are comfortable with gay people at work
- One-third would be reluctant to see an openly gay doctor or vote for an openly gay candidate
- 37% wouldn't like to have an openly gay teacher teach their children.
Following this startling research, moderator and gay activist-actor, Wilson Cruz, led the panel in an inspiring discussion that explored health care discrimination, feelings of self-worth, peer pressure issues, acting out and risky sexual behaviors, support groups, and the media's portrayal of gays and lesbians.
Labeling was also among one of the many hot topics for discussion. Gwenn Baldwin, executive director of the LA Gay and Lesbian Center, explained that the ultimate attempt to take back the negative was to create a single word like "queer" to describe the gay experience. By making it their own, many gays have taken a word that was essentially used to stigmatize them for years and make it a contemporary expression of empowerment.
The audience of entertainment professionals was particularly appreciative of the panel's candor about topics that impact the gay community. Part of the problem, all agreed, is the mistakenly casual notion among some gays that the success of AIDS "cocktails" sometimes replaces common "safer sex" sense and that quality of life can become secondary to living large. And, as experimentation is often a huge component of adolescence, they also expressed concern that young people will throw caution to the wind, especially when under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
And then there's television. While most panelists appreciate the many characters that have been added to the TV lineups in recent years, they also explained that being gay is only one aspect of BEING and they would welcome more well rounded characters who "happen" to be gay. One panelist objected to too many gay "hairdresser-type" stereotypes, while another expressed a desire to see more queer youth of color. As Lexi so poignantly summed it up, "Not only don't you identify with the straight community, you don't feel like you identify with the queer community you are seeing on TV. And then you don't identify anywhere and you are a complete outcast and it's the end of the world."
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